Happy Singles Appreciation Day! Or as far as I’m concerned, it’s a regular Thursday afternoon, nothing special. Because really this “holiday” is only used for Hallmark to send lots of cheesy cards, for people to give out candy hearts which ACTUALLY no one eats, and to give single women out there yet another reason to complain about the lack of a warm body in their bed. LADIES, you’re single, ready to mingle, with time to spend that would otherwise be wasted on some needy man-child. We get to have more fun. So on Thursday February 14th, I’m appreciating my single-ness and celebrating it.
But this whole pink hearts thing reminded me of something… I logged onto Tinder for the first time in like a week to kill some time before class and I realized that this is what our society has come to: cyber speed dating. Let’s be honest, we’re a pretty judgmental species and we tend to judge a book by it’s cover– you do it, i do it. THAT IS ALL TINDER IS. I see your picture, I think, “damn, he’s cute.” I like you, you like me and BAM, we’re a match. But boys, it’s not like you’re going to do anything with our magical love connection. No one on this wifi dating pool wants to converse. Like teenage boys thinking with the wrong “head,” they aren’t interested in learning about you and have intellectual and stimulating conversation with you. They simply want in the pantelones. I got matched with this one guy, we start chatting, and what does he do? Ask me for a nude picture. Do I look like the type of girl who feels compelled to SEND A STRANGER A PICTURE OF MY NAKED CHEST? HELL NO. But when I responded with “you’ve gotta be kidding me” he tried to act all smooth and make it seem like I had no sense of humor. HOMEBOY, we all know you weren’t joking…
So I decided to make things a lot less weird. If you haven’t yet beat teen pregnancy, I don’t even look at you and I press dislike. I’m not a babysitter. If you pose with a girl, I press dislike. IF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND WHY WOULD YOU EVEN BE ON TINDER?? If you pose with children, you should probably be taking care of your kid instead of playing around on Tinder. Dislike. On a more positive note, however, it’s exciting to get matched with the jackass frat boys who judge you by your letters. BUT HEY: The jig is up. You’re slightly less superficial than expected.
But really, what happened to courting a lady, fighting for the chance to woo her, and showering her with compliments? I am not expecting my Prince Charming to ride down Greek Row and sweep me off my feet with some poetic slang at me. But it would be nice for college guys to actually ask women on dates instead of using the infamous “want to go somewhere a little more quiet so we can talk?” line. We both know we’re not going to “talk”.
I’m beginning to lose faith in the men of my generation. Perhaps I was born in the wrong era or maybe things are different outside of this little college town bubble. MAYBE chivalry isn’t dead. Boys, I dare you to prove this to me.
These are just my thoughts, pretty much uncensored.